11 Days

 I watched a video in school and it stood out to me for many different reasons. Many, many different reasons and ways actually. One of the first things that it was very different from other things that I have heard, is that she said to live today like you have 11 days left. I know that she said that because  she had her breaking point 11 days before the anniversary of her husband's death. That one year ago, on that day, her husband had 11 days to live and he didn't even know it. It was a sad story, actually. But instead of just saying live life like you don't have a tomorrow she said live life like you only have 11 days left and it's so unheard of, normally you just hear something like you might die tomorrow  or live like you're going to die today or maybe even tonight. But you never hear someone say that you should live like you're going to die in 11 days. And I think whats more of a significant message me is that you can actually live life like you only have 11 days left, you can live your life with some conservation but still live life to the fullest, live every day like it's worth something.  In a case where you live like you have 11 days left you live your day to the fullest but you don't go crazy and all out and become wild because you still have 11 days so you still need to get certain things done. Its living life with a purpose but also different compared to live life like there is no tomorrow. It's not a very interesting topic to most people, I can bet you, but it certainly intrigues me very much and I wanted to write about it.

Mi Abuelito, Healing Process

 Losing my grandpa was something that I never envisioned happening so soon in my life. I guess that I knew it would happen at some point in  life. I guess I figured that it would happen many years in the future. So the call when we heard the news, it really messed up my new reality. I was in some sort of daydream and that I just wanted to do anything I could to make myself up from this nightmare. After dealing with my family crying and understanding that wasn't a daydream, we headed to our aunt's house, where he had lived. The kids were playing outside, too young to understand, and the adults were talking in the garage, where we had family gatherings. We all gathered together to support eachother during the rough time. Things were finally starting to look up, but I need to use the bathroom, on the way there I looked into his room that was near it. I went to go check on him. I used to be the want to stay with him and take care of him. So I went into the room and realized he wasn't there, realized that it was all too real. I stood there, and dropped to the floor. I think I really needed to have this moment by myself to understand, then I stood there crying for 20 minutes. My grandma walked in and bent down to hug me. That's when the healing started.

New Kid at School Says Goodbye

This school year is very close to being over and I can't tell if I'm excited or if I'm sad. This was a new school for me so, the year was filled with meeting new people, learning new rules, and learning and picking up the normalities of life around here.  Compared to my other school, this one seemed to be less strict. I have to say that I did pretty good, when it comes to blending in I did pretty well. If you don't count my first day of gym class that is. My first day of gym class was very scary to me because it was just a room of unfamiliar faces who were watching me. They were watching and wanted to know my abilities when it came to being active, well at least that's was I thought it was. Turns out that everyone couldn't care less. But I thought that everyone was watching and I really wanted to be normal so I tried in gym, running as fast as I could. This resulted in me falling over a fellow student and sliding all the way across the gym floor, on my stomach. Yep, that was my first gym experience and I was mortified . After I got used to the school and its everyday norms, I really liked it. The teachers seemed as if they cared and some actually did, that was really comforting to a new kid in a weird place. I'm going to miss the easy going flow of this school, because I know for a fact that high school will NOT be as easy.

My Plan

     I've created a plan. A plan that I hope will work, at first when this thought first crossed my mind I thought that this wouldn't work, but now I have some hope. But, before I get into the plan, I must inform you on why I though this wouldn't work. When I was in fifth grade I was pushed down a long stair case, the end result was me breaking my hip. After this incident, everyone saw me as a fragile child that wasn't allowed to do anything dangerous or potentially harmful. I was also a very curious and adventurous child, so this really restricted me from doing  things I thought were fun, such as skating. My brothers started showing interest in skating boarding after I was totally refrained from it, and I hated that they got to do the things that I wanted to do. But recently the topic of skating has come back into my life. A while ago I went to the mall and my friend took my into a skating store where you could customize your board, and again I felt that jealousy, remembering how my mom would never let me get on a board again.

     But, even more recently I went outside and I saw my neighbor, a 9 year old little girl, roll past on a long board. And that brought back all the memories of doing what I wanted to do. But then an idea clicked into my head. I could distinguish the differencesof skate boarding and longboarding, longboarding is much safer than skateboarding and it's a cruiser and not lightweight for tricks, which makes it more  reliable. My birthday is coming up and my mom wants to plan a party, but what if I just forget about the party and replace that with a sturdy and safe longboard instead. I could even articulate my reasons and make it even easier for my mom to give in. I could tell me mom that I am much older and responsible now, and if I fall I could catch myself easier than when I was younger. I think this plan just might work, I hope she goes for it. I want this so bad that I think I'll even wear safety pads if she wanted me to. Now I'm excited.

The Concept of Home

 Felt I felt that I was most powerful is when I was commander in my JROTC unit, at my old school. I was the highest rank and everybody had  to listen and answer to me. All except the administrator who had to make sure that we were safe and alive. In JROTC, and I know it sounds cliche but, I felt like I belonged and that I was important, I never really found a place where I felt at home. At home or even at school, even with all the children, I never felt that way. I place where I felt powerless was here. Here in August 2016, I felt the exact opposite and I was placed at the lowest rank.  I was completely knew I had no friends and I was here with the expectation of me just being able to come in and be able to adjust and fit in. I was always behind in the normalities of the school, and the way the school ran. That's when I felt powerless, because I knew nobody and  everything that people said affected me, I felt that I was of no authority, and eighth grade is when you are supposed to rule the school but here I was brand-spanking- new. As low was the 6th grade newcomers of the school. But now I feel like I'm home, and  who ever thought that your home could be ,not where you grew up, but where your life, friends, and excitement are.
                                              (That's a picture of my ROTC drill team)

Stop The Abuse

     Domestic and emotional abuse is something that impacts many young kids and teens. It can mess with their trust issues and the way that they treat other people. From the current years of the events or even up until adulthood. A persons perception of how normal life is supposed to be lived can be thrown off very badly, and it could happen two ways. One way that we see multiple ways in movies and literature, but another way that you don't hear much of but that is very real.
     After experiencing something like that, a person can perceive that behavior as normal. So when they create their own family, they'll treat their children and/or significant other in the way that they were treated as children or throughout their lives.  So they're taking another human life, and hurting them and abusing them and altering their state of being. A person can live a happy life and live it to it so that it's for filled, but all this could be altered because of  someone's actions and the way you are treated by another person. And then these children will continue to treat their children like that, and it's an ongoing cycle of mental and physical abuse. Sometimes these never stop any create a community where this abuse is normal.
      Or there's people where the abuse very much so, mess with their minds, so they use their abuse as an excuse to live her life in a terrible mood. They do things that are illegal, they missed treats other people, and they know that what they're doing is wrong,  but  in their head though create some sort of  advantage and they'll use it as an excuse. So they'll use that as their free pass to do things and say that it's their off mentality. This is what people like to call " The victim", they try to get what they want and blame in on poor circumstances.
      This isn't me trying to excuse the people who actually hurt the victims, but there are two outcomes that could occur. But to stop the comes from actually happening, we could just stop the violence and stop the abuse. There shouldn't be parents telling their kids at they'll never amount to anything , or that they'll never be who they want to be, or who they want to be is wrong. It should never be a parent beating their child, and I can't even articulate how there should never be a child in the hands of a person who doesn't love them.

Mi Abuelito

This week on my blog, I want to talk about mi Abuelito. For the non Spanish speakers, mi abuelito is my grandpa. I love him so much, I was his oldest great grandchild, so I was told I made him feel young again and I was his favorite. My grandpa was funny, loud in a good way, and loving. So loving. He loved so many people and was loved by so many more. I was so excited to find out that i would be spending my spring break with him. I, along with all my cousins, were counting the days until we could see him. The first day of spring break we saw him and we found out that he started losing his memory, and sometimes he wouldn't recognize the people he had known for years. When we found this out we were upset, but at the same time we thought that he MUST remember us. I still remember when we walked into the room and when my brother called his name. Mi abuelito said hi, and that was it. There was no instant recognition, excitement, or his thumbs up that he was known for. We all looked at eachother, could this really be happening? I walked up to him and he recognized my face and he lit up, he gave me his normal firm handshake and a thumbs up. We stood with him throughout that whole day, and we planned to return the next day. I said goodbye to mi abuelito and kissed him on the forehead before leaving.
     The next day we got a call at 5 am. As soon as the phone rang, I knew something was wrong. There was something in the pit of my stomach that told me it wasn't right. My dad picked up, I could already hear my Tia Maria sobbing over the phone, he had lived with his son and daughter in law, Juan and Maria. I slammed my body into the wall behind me and slowly fell towards to floor beneath me. I couldn't believe it, I had just seen him yesterday. My dad told us all to get into the car, we drove to get to that house as fast as we could. When we got there Abuelito was already gone, only our mourning family was left. The only thing we could do at that point was support eachother through the first night.