Im a Nerd Who Can't Play Sports

When it comes to confidence, there is only one area in my life where I can say that I am confident. This area is math, I was in accelerated math classes from third grade until this year. I was always a little ahead and have always been good with numbers. That's an area, for now, where I'll feel like my abilities are appreciated and useful. An area in life where I feel lie I'm not so comfortable is sports, especially since people expect a tall girl like me should be rather good at them. I think there are multiple things that contribute to my insecurity in sports, there's the fact that I'm just not good at my coordination, and the fact that there is that pressure of people expecting me to have skill in sports. If it's basketball we are talking about, people expect me to do well because I'm tall and large so,  the assumption is that I can block shots and shoot baskets no problem. That's isn't the case, though. If it's soccer we are talking about, there is the stereotypical expectation that a Mexican would be good at soccer, and even maybe accel at soccer, but again that isn't the case. I'm not so light on my feet like it's required, I can kick a ball well, but as soon as my foot makes contact with that ball, there's no telling whose face it's going to hit. Those are two areas in my life where my confidence can either be high in the sky or so low it's not even a joke. These are two opposites, and hopefully I can better the stereotype.

My Name

My name is August-Marie. The August was given to me because august is my mothers favorite month, it's the warmest out all the months, she was born in august, and my dad was born in august. Her and my fathers birthdays have one day in between them, I was supposed to be born on the day between their birthdays, that's another reason that the name August was given to me. My mom also loves being unique, the other option for my name was Precious. My grandfather still calls me that. Overall, I love my name, it's not something you hear everyday. Unusual and weird, just like me. The Marie part was given to me because it is my mothers middle name, and my grandmothers middle name, and her mother before that, and it continues on. August-Marie is my first name, I also have a middle name, one that ties in to my Mexican heritage. I guess because I was my moms first child, she went a little name crazy.

Where I'm From

I am from tortillas on the comal everyday,
Women talking in the kitchen and children playing outside.
I am from the fort rebuilt every weekend after destruction from my grandfather.
I am from the back porch and hammock that had the strength to hold all of my cousins.

I am from many combs and strong hair ties.
I am from behind the photo counter at Walgreens with my grandma.
I am from rice and frijoles after school.

I am from the corner of shy children at a big family party.
I am from Come on, it's just your family and Loosen up.
I am from Keep God in your heart, it'll be okay.

One Action Can Make Two People Happy

I live with my mom because my parents are separated, so me and my siblings have to split the holidays between parents. We had to get ready Christmas Eve morning at my moms house and get ready and bring everything we needed to celebrate that day at our dads, all outfits, gifts, and games. After we had been there for a couple hours, we needed to be ready to exchange gifts, I had gotten my sister a stuffed bear from Walgreens, because I knew that she had wanted it. We went to the store week prior and she pointed out and her mother said that she wouldn't buy it for her, so I decided to get it for her myself. We had all gone to our little areas where we had hidden our gifts went my brother pulled me to the side and told me that he had forgotten his gift for my sister at home. He's only 10, no one could really expect a child to go out of their way to spend their money for a gift. At first, that's what I was going to tell him. I then decided that since no one can expect a child to spend money, no one would expect a gift from me. So I gave the gift to my brother to give to my sister as a gift. Don't get me wrong, it was hard to do because I really wanted to be the one to give it to her, but I couldn't just that my little brother stand there with a look of such regret. So I let him take the credit for the bear, he was happy, she was filled with excitement, so everybody was happy in the end. Especially my sisters mom, because she didn't have to end up a the store buying the bear.

2017, Hopefully a Great Year

2017 is coming, and its coming fast. 2016 was the most chaos filled year of my life. I can honestly say this full confidence that I am telling the truth. This past year has been alot about change, a new school, new city, and new friends. A lot of the changes Ive experienced this year has also been negative. Maybe not as negative as Im making it sound, but that's what I want to change about myself this year. Not change as in I think something is wrong with me, but I want to change this for the better. I want to make myself think more positively about what is going on around me. Such as the  adjustment to the new school, new city, and new people would have been a bit easier if i had thought more positively about how better off i would have been inn the future, thinking about how happy I am now.
Overall, I think that being more positive about what is going on in your surroundings is something that everyone should do. The littlest things that can indicate a bad day for you can be pushed out of your mind until its something that you dont even think about it. If you aren't thinking about it then it doesn't ruin your day. 2016, to me, was a year that contained so much negativity. 2017 is one that I want to fill positive memories and good times, that'll be easy with the new start, provided with me by my mom.

Discrimination of Single Mothers

" I remember once we were kicked out because they (The landlords) thought that since my mom, they found out that she wasn't living with a man and she has four children, it wouldn't work. They kicked us out. He thought she wouldnt be able to provide everything, between rent and the kids." This is a story from a young girl who was chosen for an interview because she grew up in a home with a single mother. Some stories she has shared can be hard to understand for people who haven't had to live under these circumstances. Unfortunately this is a common concern for single mothers, discrimination. The discrimination of single mothers compared to women who are married with children, or who don't have children at all is unsettling. This topic is very hidden in the eyes of the press, but not to the eyes of a child born into circumstances like these.

Single mothers are often called irresponsible, unstable, and unreliable. Single mothers are called "irresponsible because of having children before marriage", "unstable because how could they possibly support themselves and their children", and "unreliable because who knows when they'll pay their rent on time, if they pay on time". These are all biased statements made about these women that aren't, necessarily true.  "It took a woman landlord to help me because the men were the ones who who thought of things like that. The other woman landlord, in the apartment we were close to getting, was trying to help me, but the person who was stopping her was her husband. All of the men at all of the other apartment said 'no'." These the words of a single single mother who was asked to share her experiences. She had a very similar experience as the young girl from the first interview.

"I went for an interview for a job and when they found out I was a single mom, they asked if I had support system. If I didn't, they wouldn't want to hire someone with kids, without husband or support system because you might call off if your kids get sick you had to get them from school and you didn't have a babysitter, so you had to call off. The jobs don't want to get involved if things like that happen, so they just don't hire you." These women are denied jobs because of these circumstances, then are turned down when it comes to houses or apartments because it is inferred that they don't have enough money. Also, they are called burdens when these mom need to rely on family and/friends. It all goes back to the prejudice. These women wouldn't have to depend on others if they made enough money to get an apartment. Single mothers would be able to make enough money if the prejudice didn't prevent businesses and companies to giving these women jobs.
   
Instead of judging single mothers and pushing them onto the streets people should offer to help to them. People constantly want good press, to be seen as good people doing good deeds. The first thing that comes to their heads is children, help the children. Yet helping the mothers in order to help the children I'd unheard of. One- third of single moms are insecure in terms of food, that means starving children. If you want to help the children, then start by helping the moms get a head start. Help a woman get that good job, the money from that job will help get an apartment, a safe haven just for a mom and her children, help a mom look like a hero in the eyes of her child.

Tears of Joy On Christmas

     The best gift I've ever given someone is jar that counts the money that you put in it, inside the jar was 50 dollars. It isn't much, I know that it isn't the best gift in the world, but it felt good when my mom recieved it, she cried because, to her, it showed that I really tried to help her, and that I cared enough to try to give her something as important as money. At the time I was was young, but I was old enough to understand what money problems were. I knew that money was something my mom didn't have a reliable source of at the time, so I kept I jar in my room for a couple months to collect spare change in. I kept it hidden in my room, so my mom would never see it. I don't recall exactly where I got it, but I'm glad I did because the concept of it counting coins is what made this fun. Every time my grandfather gave me the left over change from going to the store, I would put it in the jar. I would search the house meticulously for dimes and such under the couch and on the floor.  By the time Christmas came I had a little more than 50 dollars. When I gave it to her she cried, I didn't understand why at the time and I thought I had made her angry, but I was glad to learn that the tears coming from her eyes were tears of happiness.